This is the strange tale of the night about a month ago that I became one of the Chosen People. It all happened at the apartment of my friend Fran Epstein. The plan for the evening was to go out and hit some bars as we often did. It was understood that we were both free to hook up with other women, but more often than not we ended the evening between her sheets.
We were great in bed and had many things in common, but the relationship was stuck in neutral because I wasn’t Jewish. Even though Fran had not gone to a synagogue since the day she moved out of her parents’ house, she was stuck on the idea that her “one and only” had to be Jewish. I used every argument I could think of. I even told her that the Irish are the lost tribe of Israel. But she wouldn’t budge.
As usual on our bar nights, we began the evening with a few stiff drinks. Neither of us could face the bar scene cold sober and I, for one, was very self-conscious about my chubby little body. I consoled myself with the knowledge that some women were able to lose themselves in my big brown eyes and forget about the tonnage down below. Fran, thank God, was one of those women.
Fran had no worries about her looks. She is a natural redhead with pale skin and the body of a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. She made women salivate like Pavlov’s dogs. And she is no bimbo either. Her intelligence and quirky personality are what made me fall in love with her. I wanted her to be all mine, but, grudgingly, had to settle for being her fuck buddy.